And what they’d be like if they worked in your office.
Ever feel like your tech has a mind — or mood — of its own? That’s because it kinda does. From that sulky printer to the code-wielding wizard who swears “it works on my machine,” your IT issues are basically co-workers. Some are brilliant. Some are useless. Some are just plain chaotic.
Let’s meet the team:
1. Slow Wi-Fi
You know that colleague who arrives late, takes 40 minutes to make coffee, and finally starts working… right before lunch? That’s your Wi-Fi. Slow, distracted, and completely unreliable when it counts.
One minute it’s zipping along, the next you’re buffering in a Teams meeting like it’s 2007.
Solution: Get a proper network audit and scale your bandwidth to match your business’s actual needs — not last year’s.
2. Outdated Software
Like that intern from ten years ago who never left — and never learned. Still wearing cargo pants, still using Excel 2003, still confused by cloud storage.
They’re friendly, but every task with them takes twice as long and breaks at the worst possible moment.
Solution: Run regular software audits and invest in modern, integrated tools that grow with your team.
3. The Password Post-It Guy
Always cheerful, always helpful… and always one step away from a data breach.
His monitor is a collage of sticky notes with passwords like “Password1” or “admin123.” You’d fire him, but HR says he’s “part of the culture.”
Solution: Password managers, two-factor authentication, and company-wide policy enforcement. And maybe a stern talk.
4. The Phantom Printer
Nobody knows who installed it. Nobody knows where it is. But it shows up in your print menu like a ghost in the machine.
Sometimes it works. Sometimes it demands you feed it “magenta” at 9 a.m. on a Monday. Mostly, it just sits there… plotting.
Solution: Centralised printing, updated drivers, and — be honest — a bit less printing in general.
5. The “Just Restart It” Supervisor
Every time there’s a problem: “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”
He’s not wrong — but he’s also not helpful when the entire CRM goes offline.
He peaked in 2012 when rebooting really did fix everything.
Solution: Bring in proper IT support. Troubleshooting by gut instinct won’t cut it anymore.
6. The Software That Won’t Retire
Been here longer than anyone. Doesn’t integrate with anything, needs constant babysitting, and crashes during key presentations.
But no one dares touch it because “it still works… kind of.”
Solution: Plan for a phased exit strategy. Legacy systems are fine — until they become liabilities.
7. The Update That Shows Up at the Worst Time
Doesn’t RSVP. Doesn’t care about your deadline. Just barges in mid-demo to install “critical security patches.”
Then restarts your machine. Twice.
Solution: Schedule updates outside office hours and keep your team in the loop. Tech should work around you — not vice versa.
8. The “It Worked on My Machine” Developer
A genius in his own mind. Code whisperer. Coffee-fuelled legend.
But when anyone else touches his “perfectly functional” program, it breaks instantly.
Solution: Establish shared environments, proper testing, and code reviews. Collaboration is not a bug — it’s a feature.
9. The Rogue USB Drive
Mysteriously appears in a drawer labelled “Meeting Notes ‘18.”
No label. No owner. Yet someone always plugs it in to “just check what’s on it.”
Solution: Disable unauthorised USB access and run regular cybersecurity training. Curiosity kills more than cats.
10. The Email That’s “Still Sending”This guy promises he sent it. Swears it left his outbox. But somehow it’s stuck in limbo, waiting to be born into the inbox world. You refresh. You wait. You start doubting reality.
Solution: Check your email server health, sync settings, and avoid sending 80MB attachments labeled “Final_FINAL2_reallyFINAL.pptx”.
11. The Antivirus That Cries Wolf
Panics about harmless spreadsheets, but let’s actual threats in wearing a disguise.
Shouts “MALWARE DETECTED” every 15 minutes — and always during calls with clients.
Solution: Use smarter security software with behavioural detection and fewer drama queen tendencies.
12. The Server That Thinks It’s the Main Character
When it’s happy, the whole business hums. When it’s grumpy, the office comes to a screeching halt.
It wants updates. It wants backups. It wants respect.
Solution: Treat your infrastructure like the VIP it is — with cloud backups, redundancy, and regular maintenance.
The Business Takeaway
Sure, these characters are funny. But what they cost you? Not so much. Downtime, lost productivity, data risks, frustrated teams — it all adds up. Fast.
At PRS Tech, we turn this chaos into calm. No drama. No delays. Just tech that does its job quietly, efficiently, and without requiring a coffee break.
Talk to PRS Tech today. Your office characters will thank you.
